its been so long since i have written. life has continued as it always does. winter is here with its doldrums intact. what i really want is the heat of summer and the beach. what i really need is to socialize more and get out of this house. maybe i should use some vacation and go somewhere warm for a while. i don't know where that would be since 49 of 50 states have snow right now.
how about you, any warm trips in your future? any suggestions?

sailing away

your face it shines with smile imperfect

a testament to loves blind eye.

your eyes reflect the soul unseen

awash in anguish, primed.

the one you felt could not be yours

forever longing to reach.

he haunts you still in each dream

in both waking and in sleep.

that voyage for which you had no fare

has left for home long ago.

they share the images of this long trip

with others willing to know.

so bravely smile and carry on

for they can never know.

the love you carry in your soul

to hide deep down but never show.

my big sister

i have a sister who always tries to tell me what i should or shouldn't do. she thinks that she knows what is best for my life and always sticks her nose in where it doesn't belong. she has always tried to set me up with the people who she thinks i should date. for the longest time it was girls that she worked with. no, were not very close. when she finally figured out that i wasn't into girls she starting telling me which men i should be asking out. just because our mom did this to her doesn't mean she has the right to do it to me, does it?  i just want her to butt out.let me make my own mistakes, let me get hurt. let me find out what is right for me, ok?

random thoughts

fall seems to be quickly approaching here in upstate new york.  it's not officially the start of fall but after the thorobred races in august its fall. i hate to see summer go. i love picnics and they aren't much fun with 2 feet of snow on the ground.

what is it about some people that seem like they are inviting your attention but when you give it to them they don't want it? do they just want to feel that they are special enough that someone will chase them? why do we chase them?

My love where are you?

love that evades me

where are you now?

are you at another doorstep?

are you giving comfort somehow?

is it in the stars above

that we two should meet?

will life bring us together

in this world so very incomplete?

i know that you share my dreams

though you don't know why.

that you walk the same roads

searching for where my heart lies.

that you ache for our hearts.

lost in the haze, wandering.

my heart cries out hoping

to hear you reply, listening.

adam

he stands at ease his hands on his hips
looking over his kingdom below
his understanding shows in his eyes

as the light dances from his smile
the curls of his hair move in the air
bringing attention to his beauty

is it possible that i could approach
this man that inspires
these feelings that burn me inside

my first real try at righting a poem. good, bad, needs some work?

my absence

i have been gone for sometime here, laptop was in shop. and life has been getting in the way as well as self pity and loathing.i guess that i am entering that part of my cylcle where i despise myself again. i haven't felt like anything i have to say is worth writing down. i have been reading some of the blogs that i follow mostly private. good news is that the girl that made me want to write a blog has updated hers. maybe this will inspire me to write again in some regular fashion. look her up  mind junk 101.